Fuck Iowa

No, seriously. Fuck all that noise, and fuck their pasty-white corn-fed self-important asses. What, I don't live in a flat, empty, midwestern state in the goddamn Corn Belt, so I don't get a meaningful say in the nation's government?

Fuck that. Fuck Iowa. And Fuck New Hampshire, too, while we're at it. Overprivileged, self-important prigs. Yeah, you hear that, Iowa and New Hampshire? THANKS A WHOLE FUCKING LOT FOR JOHN "COULDN'T GET ELECTED OUT OF A PAPER BAG BECAUSE HE HAS A WAX FACE" KERRY, YOU ASSHOLES, AND THE FOUR YEARS OF BUSH WE'VE HAD TO SUFFER BECAUSE OF HIM. AND THANKS IN ADVANCE FOR THE WAY YOU ARE INEVITABLY GOING TO FUCK THIS PRIMARY UP TOO.

Sorry, I'm just a little disenfranchised today.

No, you know what? I'm not fucking sorry. Our democracy is broken. I'm tired of living in a "democratic" nation where my vote has never counted for a single fucking thing in a single election, ever. I might as well live in China as be a liberal in Texas, for fuck's sake, and living up here in Washington doesn't seem any better, just opposite in direction. The state already falls liberal. Why do they need me?

Yeah, I don't live in a "swing state" or an early primary state. Apparently that means I'm not good enough to have a vote. Hell, I don't even think any of the candidates are bothering to campaign here. Why should they? The rest of the nation more or less always meekly lines up and does what Iowa and New Hampshire tell them to do anyway.

So, yes, we come back to my original point:

FUCK IOWA.